Now that it is over, I can tell you all about it: Coachella 2015
Corporate Headquarters was as great as we all knew it would be. I was pleased to contribute my skills as the exterior designer on the project. Our crew was a blessing and our ring leaders Vanessa Bonet and Derek Doublin have a tremendous success on their hands! Big kudos to everyone involved!
But what IS it?
According to the New Hire Packet:
Corporate Headquarters is the industry leader in leveraging robust, seamless, holistic, high-level, best of breed win-win ideation and monetization into the private sector allowing for complete market saturation. Since our inception we have scaled-up and drilled down our capability for synergies to synergize.
We have proven through disintermediated analysis that facilitating supply chain globalization macro-intuitively allows us to syndicate strategically. We have reinvented the wheel of our core competencies, key performance indicators and practical applications with our paradigm shifting scheme for streamlining new deliverables with baked-in touch points, cross-platform scalability and agile, real-time data mining solutions. The metrics for distributed bricks-and-clicks,end-to-end and point of sale are the aspirational low hanging fruit that we employ to open the kimono, drink the kool aid, peel the onion, close the loop, circle the wagons and empower consumer buy-in to move the needle, into their wheelhouse with many moving parts.
It’s this type of outside the box thinking that allows us to mow outside the lawn, color outside the lines and punch above our weight class while putting our ducks in a row and leveraging our multiple verticals to create 360 solutions to take this ecosystem offline.
With a 50,000 foot view of these next generation, enterprise, long tail, event horizon, mission critical, unique selling propositions we have the bandwidth and competitive advantage to benchmark game changing deliverables and take our B2B campaign and process management to the next level through crowd sourcing evergreen tent pole stakeholders and providing unique selling propositions and social currency to gatekeepers with golden parachutes.
Our cut and dried strategy for success depends on casting a wide net, circling the wagons, pushing the envelope to the bleeding edge of dynamic, actionable, customer centric, integrated, re-contextualized, results driven touch point transparency spearheaded by our agile on-boarding of learnings fleshed out from our beta launch.
We employ only the latest stratcomm vetted human resource management and black hat forced compliance techniques to create a value-centric, fear based corporate culture with virtually no turnover and a spotless glass ceiling. Without trying to boil the ocean, we have ideated and soft-launched over-the-wall best practices that render our competition, bottlenecked, out of pocket and scrambling for an exit plan. Our team of Corporate Headhunters have picked clean their corporate carcasses bringing aboard their best and brightest thought leaders to integrate, inspire and incentivize complete brand loyalty and ensure a promising Return on Investment for our primary stockholder, Hipson O Potemous.
To learn more, read some of our press:
Caution, hippos working: Inside Coachella's 'Corporate Headquarters' - LA Times
What's it like to be a hippo inside Corporate Headquarters at Coachella? - LA Weekly
My time as a hippo at Coachella - UT San Diego
6 Best Artworks of Coachella 2015 - LA Weekly
How Corporate Headquarters Faired at Coachella Music Festival - Huffington Post
I've had it! I can't take the secrets and lies any longer. I've designed some large parts of a Coachella project this year, and with the event just two weeks out, I'm finally cracking. Here's what we are up to: we are turning the Polo Fields into a MASSIVE Football Field, complete with artificial turf (since the grass dies so quickly out there) and painted yard lines. This installation serves many purposes, but primarily:
- Let the kids exhaust themselves so they go to bed at a reasonable hour!
- Leave your words at home! Now you can just TACKLE that person you can't keep your eyes off of!
- With accurately measured yardage lines, concert attendees can easily monitor the distance they travel each day!
- Perfect excuse for barreling to the front rows of your next concert with no concern for the well being of those around you!
- The plastic grass serves as a water conservation measure for the polo fields!
- Football helmets are the new war bonnet?
I could go on and on with the benefits here, but you get the point. See you in the locker room!
Coachella tried out some new power options this year and by far the most successful was the Hippo-Powered Power Station. I was primarily working with Syd Kling on his giant twin tesla coils this year, but I threw in a couple days of help on the Power Station, and I got to watch and gawk at the insanity as it unfolded.
The 2012 festival season is upon us and dang if I don’t love a good collaboration with my remarkable friends! Short on time this year, I pitched in a couple days sculpting the armature for the head of Milly – a larger-than-life T-Rex that digests recyclables and offers prizes in return:
Cacophony – it’s hard to explain, but worth every second of the time I invested into it. The perfectly-overwhelming museum style show was installed at the Grand Central Art Center in Santa Ana, CA, and ran from February 4 – April 15. The OC Register ran a pretty good article on it, which can be found below.
My lips have been getting around. Elyse of Elephant Heart Jewelry took a cast of my lips for her Super Natural line. Now she sends me images of my lips in the most surprising places, most recently on the hand of Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Another Coachella collaboration:
The brain child of Syd Kling, The Pipes are a full-functioning pipe organ whose keys correspond to a series of Jacob’s Ladders, creating an odd, electric sounding note. I made it look pretty by finishing the wood surfaces and fabricating custom copper moulding.
Audience reaction towards this extremely unusual art piece was stellar!
I have been fortunate to collaborate on numerous large-scale and/or dangerous art projects over the years. Robochrist Industries is a group I continue to call family. My contributions were primarily in prop design and construction as well as some basic mechanical maintenance and operation.
The enduring friendships from that time continue to lead to exciting projects outside of my primary field of painting, where I have the opportunities to contribute my skills, learn new ones, shake off the isolation of the studio and get back in touch with my gritty underbelly.
This subject of this video is pretty shocking for a lot of people. But for me, it is a jolting reminder of just how free we were ten years ago. These types of performances just don't happen much any more.
"Christian Ristow's Robochrist Industries executed its last robot performance at Coachella in 2005. The title of the performance was STUNT, which has at least three meanings in the context of this show. In 2005, Coachella forbade Robochrist Industries to use fire for some unknown reason. In response, we put together a show that was much more dangerous and ridiculous than if we HAD used fire, which included a live head-on-collision with two cars, and approximately 110 gallons of fake blood being pumped into the air. Hence the saying: 'Blood is the new Fire!'"
Living the Dream
For me, being an artist is more than painting alone in my studio. I am inspired by other artists, off-beat adventures and spectacle. I curate exhibitions, collaborate on large public art installations, am an occasional color consultant and interior designer and sometimes I sculpt. I seem to do a lot of writing, but that's just business. I live an art-filled life. Thanks for coming along for the ride.